on Love and Tolerance: Part I - Ponies and Relationships

This is something I've been thinking about for a while, but was, again, really sparked by things that the kids in "Teens React to..." video, so I suppose I will address my concerns in chronological order. (EDIT NOTE: The links that referred to several RageComics are now broken, and I can't find the originals again, so they have been replaced with descriptions of what was there, and text has been should have been edited accordingly.)

First, in the case that a brony really does love ponies more than his significant other, well, he must either not love his significant other all that much, or the fandom might be a little... obsessive. Your significant other, depending on the seriousness of your relationship, really should be the first and foremost in your thoughts and hearts (perhaps outside of family). But that's not to say you can't have things and people that you like (fandoms and friends) that are outside of the relationship.

The fact that there are cases where a girl (or guy) makes her/his significant other choose between his/her fandom or the relationship makes me a sad panda. Granted, there are varying levels of dedication to relationship and to fandoms, but you really shouldn't have to choose between your hobbies or fandoms and someone that [supposedly] loves you.

Let's take a look at why this kind of "it's me or ponies" ultimatum is not okay. This is basically the equivalent of saying "you have to choose between watching the football, and dating me" or "if you keep watching reality shows, we have to break up." While the latter is quite understandable in my book, it still brings me to a point of what makes a good relationship, and if these ultimatums are coming up, well then you have a problem other than a difference of interests.

Relationships are about understanding and compromise - as long as you understand (or even if you don't) and can tolerate your significant other's values, thoughts, and behaviors, then you might just have an absolutely wonderful relationship. You don't have to have the same interests, hobbies, or styles to get along.

Take, for example, my relationship with my boyfriend. He doesn't really like cute and "girly" (by socially normative standards, but we'll get to that) things. But when he spots something that fits that description, he loves me enough that he knows I would probably like it, and proceed forward it to my attention. The same goes for all things MLP:FIM. He is in no way a fan of the show, and is far from considering himself a Brony, but he knows the plot of every episode because he can tolerate being in the room with me while I watch, and will even let me show him scenes I think are funny (he TOTALLY laughed at FlutterGuy). It's the idea that you don't always have to have the same interests, but being able to accept them is what really matters.
Another couple friends of mine who are engaged to be married also had this kind of view. I showed the first couple episodes to the both of them to which her reaction was a playful enjoyment of the cute and silly, while his reaction was more a baffled amusement compared to her enjoyment. After the first two episodes, which was what we agreed we'd all watch just to introduce it, he patted her on the head and said, "Okay, well you have YouTube and can watch while I'm not around." None of this "I can't believe you like this it's so childish and silly and dumb" nonsense. It's okay to have differing interests.

So there's Love and Tolerance: where even if you think that something they do doesn't really make sense, or you don't agree with it, you can still be with the person because they have enough other qualities that you like/love about them - the two really go hand in hand, and it's hard to define either of them without the other (in this circumstance).


With the notion of Love and Tolerance aside, I now get to the "Teens React..." video and the answers of the girls when they were asked, "Would you date a boy who was brony?" (at 4:45 in the video) There was a resounding "NO" from the girls. Analyzing this from a "scientific" point of view, we will have to take into account the fact that the video did not show responses from all the girls, only 4 of the 6. Rumor, one of the girls who was not shown, did voice her support for bronies near the end of the video, so lets assume she would have said yes. Of the ones whose reactions were shown, everyone said "no" with a considerable amount of disgust in their voices. Even Jade, who knew of Bronies before being shown the opening and asked about it said, "Hell NO!" And then Madison, who was asked, "What if you said 'hey, you know take me out to the movies' and they were like, 'no, I'm sorry - tonight, My Little Pony's on'?" and that would be the point of breaking up with them - what's the difference, as I pointed out before, between that, and saying, "No, can't go on a date tonight, the football game is on" or "I'm hanging out with the guys tonight?"
Lia put it in terms that basically sums up the entire problem that girls and society in general, have with the basic idea of the "Brony" - the acceptability of breaking gender and age norms. As Lia said, "No, I don't want some boy that's watching My Little Pony, I want a boy who's like, 'I'm tough.'" Congratulations, girl - I sure hope you aren't a feminist otherwise you'd be another one to chalk up to the hypocrite list. We will discuss this in more depth in the next post: how Bronydom really stretches the gender-norm line, and really shows society's backwards expectations and the reverse sexism that occurs in our modern western society.

For now, I have a chili recipe to try out.

(Disclaimer: All screenshots used are property and copyright of Hasbro)