I stopped blogging before because I went back to New York from my parent's home after summer vacation to continue my schooling (not that I have many regular followers who would notice at this point. Or ever.) I did, however, have some time left to do other things... This was around the time that Mass Effect 3 came out and I really began playing. Well, to be more precise, I watched my boyfriend play it, and I was so intrigued, I started from Mass Effect moved on to Mass Effect 2, and somewhere during that play-through, I caused my boyfriend's X-Box to permanently red-ring. During the time I was playing Mass Effect, I kept thinking about how it would be fun to do a blog post about the series. But playing the game clearly took priority over writing about it. In the downtime between trying desperately to resurrect the old X-Box, buying a new X-Box, and transferring the save files between the old and new using a friend's working X-Box (really long story, quite entertaining in itself), I thought about writing the post, but still - getting through the second game and onto the third in all its glory (bad ending and all) was my top priority and, thus, no blog post was ever fully written. I still have quite a few drafts that I never felt were polished enough for me to publish including a rare fan-girl rant about the wonders of Garrus; I may someday revist, finalize and post them.
However, I now have a new obsession on my hands... WEDDING PLANNING. It has consumed almost every fiber of my being. My then-boyfriend is my now-fiancée and I couldn't be more excited. In fact, I could really stand to be less excited. I haven't been able to sleep for the past few days and every time I close my eyes I envision more and more details of what my perfect wedding would look like. An important note is that my hubby-to-be and I are not planning to have our wedding until at least a year from now - more like 14 months away. (Raise your hand if you think I should continue actively seeing therapy! Don't have your hand raised yet? We'll change that by the end of the post, I'm sure.) I'm quite confident that I made myself sick by not going to sleep until I had finished an inspiration board collage to show to my planning-helpers (I get sick easily which is made worse by lack of sleep...)
"Wow, with such early and visionary planning, you'll have your wedding just the way you want it!" might be your thoughts. Well... No. A lot of what I'm thinking now are small details and have many conflicting elements which I would HATE if I put all of them in one wedding (that whole "less is more" and yada yada yada). Everytime I see something I like on Pinterest (which I just joined for just the purpose of wedding planning and had never used before), I think "That would be great, but how can I mesh it in with my color scheme (which I've decided on years ago and still love) and theme?" And it's hard for me to negotiate between weeding out old ideas to replace with new ones that I might find inspiring, and sticking with what I know and love and have dreamed of for years!
About every 5-10 minutes this weekend, I'd ask my hubby-to-be a wedding related question. "Do we want..." "Should we..." and he pointed out to me, "You know, with this wedding over a year away, if you spend every moment of every day between now and then thinking about the wedding, you're not going to enjoy the wedding very much, you'll just feel stressed and crazy." And I know that, personally, if I spend every moment trying to get every detail just right, I know I'm going to be freaking out on the day-of wondering why every detail is not just right.
Not only that, but I'm just barely learning what wedding planning entails! I've now seen lots of checklists and consulted with my wiser friends who are now veterans of the matrimonial process, but I learn best by doing, and it's quite nerve-wracking for me to think that, no, I can't just plan a "trial wedding" and see how it goes before moving on with the real thing. Well, someone could, maybe, but I certainly don't have the time, funds, or sanity for that.
So the mention of funds and sanity brings me to why I have started to blog about this again. Because I am not actively seeing a therapist (no insurance makes sad-wallet), and I no longer have school (graduated a couple weeks ago from my Master's program), and I'm currently looking for a new job (no money, but lots of time!), I've decided to try blog about my wedding planning process to:
- give me something to do
- organize my thoughts & planning
- give me some sort of thing to look back on in the years to come unless the internet explodes
- manage my obsessions, maintain my sanity, and help me sleep at night
- share my creations/creativity
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