on the Toilet Seat...

As a lady, I have heard it said that I should teach my man that the toilet seat should be left down. I say to that:

"NO."

As a person - a practical person - I will always argue that the toilet cover should be closed, should a toilet cover exist, at all times when not in use. This is the most practical, egalitarian state of the toilet.

When the toilet is left uncovered (regardless of the position of the seat), there's always the possibility of something falling into the toilet bowl - something I actually had problems with as a clumsy child. Even if the toilet has been flushed and untouched for the day, knocking your toothbrush off the counter with your elbow into the seat-down, cover-up toilet bowl makes you never want to use the toothbrush again. No one should have to suffer that travesty.

Also, with the cover closed, both male and female occupants will have to lift something up to do their business (and usually, the cover and seat can be lifted in one single motion). Yay, equality!

When finished with one's business at the can, the cover should be closed before flushing because, apparently, spray from a toilet's fush can carry fecal particles up to 6 feet away (and land on things like your toothbrushes). Gross. Close that toilet cover.

In some cases, still, the toilet cover does not exist, or it is not practical to keep it closed. For example, parties where people are generally inebriated to some degree and may or may not be capable of distinguishing between different states of the toilet. I often attend gatherings where I am one of fewer females and most of the dudes are drunk. In this case, if I find the toilet seat left up, I will put it down, do my business, and return it to the state I found it in. I'm a big girl - I can move the toilet-contraption-things too! Wouldn't you much rather worry about just putting the toilet seat down, then having to mop up the miss-aimed piss of an inebriated buddy (or stranger, depending on the party)? Note this person with bad aim might even be female! Because, lets face it, if a girl's too drunk to notice the toilet seat is up, she probably wasn't going to be very neat about her business anyway. (this is something that always surprises me about public female bathrooms - I don't know how some of us miss, but I guess we manage to!) Might as well let her fall in as concequences of her own actions, rather than let her make you clean up after her own irresponsibility!

Any woman who expects that the man should "rightfully" remember to leave the seat down for her is just asking for trouble in a relationship. We are strong enough to lift and lower the toilet seat (and the cover) on our own, and having the cover down is, regardless, the most sensible state of the toilet.