on "Safe Spaces" and Learning

It greatly concerns me that many of my very smart, very kind, and well-meaning friends have expressed their joy at University of Chicago's announcement not to "support 'safe spaces.'" My concern is, not merely that I don't agree with this, but moreso that I believe their thinking might be rather dangerous and, frankly, backwards. I realize that many of these friends are those who attended university with me, at another prestigious institution, and likewise, tend to be well-informed and value education very highly. So, it seems to me that most people who are saying "boo, safe spaces suck" are under the assumption that trigger warnings and safe spaces are somehow an excuse to avoid the content material of a classroom or course altogether. This avoidance, of course, impedes learning and keeps people in their comfort zone without exposing them to new ideas and concepts. Of course, this type of censorship or avoidance is terrible because that's how you end up with people who are close minded and uneducated. I agree discomfort, disagreement, and discussion are necessary for learning and growth, however I would argue that learning and this type of "unpleasant" discourse is ONLY possible in safe spaces. But what really is a Safe Space, and why are they important?

What is a Safe Space?

I feel like the term has been thrown around a lot by different people in different contexts, and the term itself has been used without, perhaps, being properly understood. The term itself has become a symbol without people actually taking a look at its meaning, and frankly, it's true purpose. The article I linked from the Chicago Tribune states, that safe spaces are "designed to shelter students from certain speakers and topics." And that is really NOT the purpose, because that would be extremely problematic, but more on that on why Safe Spaces are important - for now, lets redefine what a Safe Space could, and dare I say, should* be.

For what I have seen in my work as a Counselor who works with survivors of intense, interpersonal trauma, I define a Safe Space as: a place where discomfort, fear, and trauma are recognized, brought into the open, allowed and respected. Safe spaces, as I see them, are places where people are free to express their discomfort and not be judged or belittled. It is a place where people are free to express survivorship and not be shamed or dismissed. It is a place where language is used respectfully and people are not talked at or down to, but a place where meaningful discussion can happen which stems from the different minds and experiences in the room. It is a place where disagreement can happen and where ideas are challenged and scrutinized, but people are not attacked personally. It sounds like it might be hard because people get very attached to their ideas and their opinions (I know I'm guilty of this also). But it's about making a space where people are able to hear, "well I think that logic is faulty" and not take it as a personal insult.

Of course, a person may need to step out if the room for a while if the content is too much for them to handle, but a Safe Space doesn't mean they're out of the discussion or are excused from whatever assignment may be related to it, but rather that they join again when they can, and speak with the professor or TA about best strategies and needs for moving forward in the classroom and the course as a whole.

Examples:

I was at a three-day conference where all we talked about was rape, domestic violence, human trafficking, sexual assault, racism, sexism, etc. etc. etc. and how to help our communities battle these. This could only be done by first recognizing that there were survivors of these crimes in the room. That these topics are heavy and hard and complex and icky. And that people will disagree but disagreements can be held in respect.
My own office is a Safe Space. And we sure as hell don't avoid talking about scary, triggering things in there. It's a space where the client is asked to and allowed to face and process their experiences of violence, their reactions to those experiences, and to learn from them.

So why are they important?

Safe Spaces are super important so that we can break the silence about horrors like Domestic Violence, Sexual Assault, Human Trafficking, Child Abuse, War, Rape, Dating Violence, Animal Poaching, Environmental Destruction, Racism, Sexism, Oppression, Ableism, etc., etc., etc. Because these are not issues that will go away by remaining ignorant or silent about them. The more we can teach others at whatever age why and how these societal issues exist, and what we can do to help prevent them, the better life might be for everyone. And because these topics aren't scary just for the people who have survived them. The thought that people do bad things in the world, or that we aren't a perfect society, is something that's very hard to come to terms with, even for, and maybe especially for, people who have never experienced these things. If I, or we -- as community members, as a society -- want people to learn about the world in all its beauty and its horrors, Safe Spaces should* be a place where triggering topics are not avoided, but, really, where they can be brought to light.

Frankly, anyone who says that a "Safe Space" is to shelter individuals is using the term really problematically. Not only is it really unhealthy to avoid or ignore triggering topics, but even if you tried to have a "[Problematic] Safe Space" where you can only talk about unicorns and rainbows, you might find someone for whom rainbows are a trigger or consistently has nightmares about being impaled by unicorns. (another example -- I know of a story where a practitioner tried to do a relaxing exercise for their group, they put on a recording of a campfire crackling. One of the participants recently had their home burn down so the recording did the opposite of helping her relax.) As polite as I like to be with people to coddle fragile egos, this view of safe spaces is simply wrong and simply unproductive.

Trigger Warnings

Likewise, Trigger Warnings are not to tell people "don't come to class if you can't handle our next discussion," it's to provide people with the chance to prepare themselves mentally and to help enrich the discussion, not to impede or prevent it. Not only is throwing a student into a panic attack unprepared in the middle of class damaging to that student, it disrupts the entire class as well. A student who is given a trigger warning and is able to prepare could:

1. tell the professor that they may be triggered and:
   • plan ahead to sit closer to the door to quietly excuse themselves for a while until they feel calm again to prevent a full-blown trauma/anxiety reaction (or panic attack).
   • get permission to bring in water or snacks that might otherwise not be allowed, if this helps the person cope
   • get permission to bring in other coping mechanisms, such as doodling or coloring to help the student remain grounded and engaged in the classroom.
   • anyone who says "the professor shouldn't have to give any individual student this level of attention" has extremely low standards for education, but that is something outside of this topic.
2. ask their therapist for safety planning tips, or other calming mechanisms

Because one cannot learn while having a panic attack. One cannot learn while dissociated. One cannot learn while resenting the rest of the members of the discussion for having a different opinion. One cannot learn if they do not feel safe and respected. Because, yes, learning comes from discomfort. But discomfort that is not held in safety is simply destructive. Discomfort is essential to learning, yes, but discomfort without safety only leads to dissociation/disconnection, and/or other defensiveness. Alliterations aside, if an academic space truly exists to promote learning, then safe spaces should be a fundamental requirement, not something they choose to support or not.

Whether or not there are enough spaces in our fair country that are ready to truly call themselves Safe Spaces.... well, there's a lot of work to do.

Notes:

Dissociation/Disconnection
Dissociation can come in many forms, from the more severe and chronic which could be categorized as "disorders" to smaller episodes which might happen from time to time. For someone who has experienced trauma (directly or vicariously), it is quite common to dissociate, or basically, shut down, when triggers come up. This doesn't have to be panic-attack-like symptoms, but in a classroom setting, can look a lot like not paying attention, or not being able to focus (visually or mentally). Disconnection, I write separately though it refers to relatively the same thing in this context, however there are ways that students may disconnect with the materials and classroom in ways that are not quite the same as dissociation. For example, younger children who have different coping mechanisms (and/or haven't been beaten down by the expected norms of society), may dissociate, but they may also "act out", speaking over the teacher, or otherwise being "uncooperative" or "unruly" because something happened that made them remember something scary they're trying to forget.

Defensiveness
Defensiveness, in the very most basic sense, is when someone tries to, well, defend themselves. But from what? For one, we see "defensiveness" very often as people making excuses for what they said, or otherwise fending off "personal attacks" that can be emotional or intellectual. But I'm also referring to being in a state of trying to "defend" or "keep safe" one's mental well being which is not so often how we use the term. Trying to tease apart the two, the former type of "defensiveness" happens more often when someone hears something that they disagree with, basically when something in their world view is challenged. The latter can also happen when there's a trigger for trauma present and I think encompasses the experiences of dissociation and disconnection. However, they both stem from the same instinct - to protect oneself and one's world (physically, mentally, socially).

*"should" is a very dangerous word that I try to avoid to prevent imposing my beliefs and thoughts on others, but lets be real here, I'm writing something to try and persuade people about what I think Safe Spaces should look like, so I'm gonna say this is what they should look like.

on Pinterest and Wedding Planning

So after 4-5-ish months of wedding planning and looking for inspiration for my wedding on Pinterest, I have found several things that really frustrate me about the site, so I've decided to write this post to pop the Pinterest perceptions that I and other users may have gotten while looking through the site.

Don't get me wrong, I love Pinterest. It's given me some great ideas, a good image of what I want, and links to multiple DIY tutorials. But that's precisely what my problem with it is.  To be more specific, I have a few bones to pick with Pinterest: its ethnocentric focus on the privileged; its planner-centric point of view; and shameless, rampant "musterbation".  So the first third of this rant will be more focused on social-justice/equality concerns while the latter two will address more the practical aspects of wedding planning, though it is all tied together, really.

Before I elaborate on these concerns I have, I want to recognize that, of course, Pinterest content is created by the people who use it, so it is more a reflection of what everyone else on Twitter is doing (including myself) and not the site itself.  But it's hard to type "Pinterest users" or "everyone on Pinterest" every time, so of course, the site as a whole shall be used to reference its content and users.  Of course, Pinterest is a powerful tool for business big and small to advertise their services/products, so content and the way it is displayed/filtered may also be impacted by corporate agendas, but I'll pick that apart as I get to it.

Pinterest for the Privleged

Going in order, I will start with my concern about what I consider as Pinterest's "ethnocentric focus on the privileged."  What exactly do I mean by that?  Well, this is actually half Pinterest's coding (I think) and half its users... Because Pinterest, itself, has the "Wedding" section/filter - and if you go there, you'll see a lot of what you expect to see when looking up weddings.  The traditional white gowns, bridesmaid dresses, shoes, cakes flowers, place-settings, invitation designs, and mason jars (oh god, mason jars).  Before I roll my eyes more at mason jars, I'll ask you to look closer at what else we see in the "weddings" section?  Well, a female bride and a male groom, (usually white, or at least same-race) in some sort of quaint rustic or big city setting, and a whole lot of things that cost a whole lot of money!  So who's being targeted here?  The "typical/traditional" couple - heterosexual, rich/well-off, white couple. 

Now, the "heterosexual" piece, of course, resonates the issue with society at large, and I'm always very happy to see the very-rare LGBTQ wedding photo pop up in my browse through the Wedding section, but I am very so unhappy about how rare it is.  With same-sex marriages being legalized in more states, now, I hope that this is something that will increase in the future.

It also makes me sad that Pinterest doesn't present more cultural diversity in the wedding section.  While this, again, is in part due to a larger (world-wide) interest in the traditional western-style wedding, I feel like perpetuating that that's how a wedding "should be" (oh no, digressing to "musterbations"!) by filtering out other cultures from the wedding board is definitely not helpful to keeping multiple cultural traditions.  I mean, if we wanted to truly be a melting pot as America should be proud for, couldn't we see "American weddings" borrow more traditions from other cultures, rather than the other way around?  That is I know it is extremely popular to have a white western-style wedding gown as part of your ceremony in China now - my cousin who is Chinese and was married in China to a Chinese husband with all our Chinese family around was taking from this Western style, and it's not just her, many ladies in China do.  However, many Chinese girls in America, might go strictly for a Western-style wedding.  I admit I might be guilty of this myself when next year rolls around, (we're still planning), but honestly, since I've never planned a wedding before, and I'm getting most all my inspiration from Pinterest, naturally, that's all I've been exposed to - Western wedding traditions!  A potential photographer I was talking to asked if I would be doing any traditional Chinese games during the reception and named some examples.  "What are those?" I had to ask - I had no idea, they weren't on Pinterest's main wedding board!  I've seen "The Shoe Game" which was an idea I entertained in my head until I realized half my guests wouldn't understand what was being said, and that it would take twice as long if I tried to have my mother translate everything.  Pinterest had provided me a great idea that I couldn't use for my culturally (and linguistically) diverse group (something that I will discuss further in the planner-centric point of view).

Now, it's not like Pinterest only has the traditionally Western wedding posts.  Sometimes cultural diversity leaks through the filters and you'll see gorgeous Indian wedding attire, or a groom in a kilt, but for the most part, you won't find that unless you specifically type to search for "Indian wedding."  Now of course, you can blame me for not doing my own research, outside Pinterest for more cultural things, but that's not my point, because I did look up "Traditional Chinese Weddings" and "Chinese Wedding Traditions" and was bombarded by a good number of primarily red - instead of white - posts.  So I know that Pinterest is not being used solely by Caucasian, heterosexual, western, people and that more cultural diversity does exist. But that's certainly what the Wedding board shows or suggests.

A simple search for "Wedding Dress" --
the mannequin is black, does that count?

For the last note of the "Caucasian"/White part, I will post the full screenshot of what I used for the title screen to the left. Think this is, again, an issue of society at large, as most of the models you see for wedding related things (Photography, Dresses/Tuxes, etc.) are thin and white, but we know they're not the only ones getting married.  Hair styles and makeup is another good point for this.  I pinned several eye makeup tutorials and when I went to try them out, I realized that they don't work for me as well because my eyelids are different!  I tried searching for "asian eye-makeup tutorials" and got a few better results, but really, do I have to go out of my way to search for something that suits me?  Why isn't there a better mix?  And hair - my hair is only vaguely different from the hair that the blonde or brunette models have that are featured in every, "OMG I must have this hairstyle for my wedding!" post.  Only once in the 4-some months I've been looking through Pinterest's Wedding board did I see one "fabulous ways to wear your hair on your wedding day for black women!" Not that it applies to me, but I was taken aback by it (which in itself surprised me) since I hadn't seen any posts like it before!  I mean really - I shouldn't have to be surprised by that - it shouldn't be that rare!  And you'll notice I put race/skin-tone and cultural diversity as separate, because I do recognize that not all "white" people have the same heritage or traditions, but it does speak to the standard of beauty we have that the large majority of these models we see for dresses are thin, and fair skinned, and the "rest of us" need to go out of our way to find something like "the rest of us."

Money.  You really can't talk about weddings without talking about money. One of my favorite posts was one where the description read something like, "This is a great resource on how to save money on your wedding with tons of affordable price-cutting tips!"  Naturally, I clicked on the link to check out these price-cutting tips and was lead to a page to buy a book of tips on how to budget your wedding for some non-trivial sum of money.  HA.  Thanks guys, that was a great laugh.  Now, really, how can I save money on this?  So many pins on Pinterest are really not terribly affordable when you add them all up - even the "cheap DIY that will look just like professionally made" things are either not that money-saving, or not that good looking. (Oh my gosh, parenthetical side note, if people on Etsy can charge as much as they do for their ugly, generic, bad-font-choice Save the Date and Invitation designs, I could make so much more with my skills - I mean really, I'm not trying to be a snob, but when other people sell their crap for those prices, how can I not be snobby!?)  As an example, I was looking up the cost of materials for making my own centerpieces this past week, and the price of everything added up, in the amount I would need, comes out to about 50% of what the florist quoted me for the centerpieces alone, but that doesn't include the flowers I wanted (real or fake).  But then of course, I would still need the florist for the live-flower bouquets and their quote includes a $300 charge for delivery and set-up, so by making my own centerpieces, that $300 worth less.

Now people on Pinterest often suggest using mason jars as a 'cheap' alternative to vases, cups, candle holders, aisle edgers, anything and everything else you could think of! (I put cheap in quotes because then people get into personalized mason jars, and, lets face it, that can't be really much cheaper than a dollar-store vase, can it?) And of course, there's the whole idea, "If you don't like it, just ignore it, if you do like it, feel free to use it without feeling pressured by the fact that they're so overused."  But it's so hard to ignore something that keeps coming up, and since I'm trying to use Pinterest to find a variety of different ideas, seeing mason jars over and over again is just really starting to grind my gears.

And really, if you DO want to save on money, Pinterest actually probably isn't the best place to look, because it has made me think of a huge number of things that I must have at my wedding ("musterbation" comes later! Tangents!) that I, well, don't need, and that no one will really remember!  That is something that comes from the planner-centric point of view that Pinterest has.  WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN!?  It means that Pinterest pins are really only looking to advertise to the person planning the wedding... Well, duh? of course you want to tell the person planning the wedding what to expect!  But... no.  Not really.  The best, and only, post I have seen that goes against this mentality is the one that pops up every now and then: "Top 10 complaints guests have about weddings they attend" (or something like that, my wording may be off.)  But yeah - while a wedding may be "YOUR BIG DAY" the majority of people there will be guests, more specifically, guests that you, hopefully, care about.  So even though there's all this talk about "do what you want"
keep in mind that you are doing this in part for your guests (or else why would you be inviting them?).

So when you get stressed trying to decide between a colored mason jar or a personalized mason jar - try thinking of things from a guest's point of view.  That really calmed down my planning (maybe it will make things more stressful for some), but I will delve, again, into an example: I was freaking out about chairs.  There are some pins on Pinterest for adorable, elegant, classy but expensive ways to decorate your ceremony and/or reception chairs.  I called my sister who had her wedding a couple of years ago and she asked me simply: "what did the chairs at my wedding look like?"  I thought for a few seconds.  "I don't remember."  She asked back, "what do you remember about the wedding?"  And that really helped me to focus my perspective.  Now, of course, you can't guess exactly what details your guests are going to pick up on, but I'm a very detail-oriented person, and I couldn't remember even what her centerpieces looked like until I went back through the photos (the one reason why I do want to invest in centerpieces, otherwise I wouldn't care).  But just remember, the origin of many pins is really to get you to spend money - money you don't need to spend - on things that people may not notice or remember. 

The other problem I have been seeing with this "planner-centric" view means that it is also almost entirely directed at women.  If I were a man trying to plan a same-sex wedding, or even a hetero-sexual groom looking to help out my bride, Pinterest would be extremely frustrating for me.  There's also the perpetuation of (potentially dangerous) societal norms through Pinterest.  Guides for women on "how to be the best housewife ever" and "everything a wife must do to respect her husband."  So things like the former - okay, I guess, if that's what you want to do, all the power to you.  Caring for someone, a home, oneself, and eventually maybe a baby is hard work, I can respect that, but when it's paired with some of the "must" and "should" vocabulary that I will discuss momentarily, it gets a little dangerous.  The latter really scares me - the posts that talk about how husbands must be respected by their wives, and how wives must do certain things to show respect... I mean... again, that sounds okay, but what scares me is the fact that you don't see the other - guides about how to be a respectable housewife, or how to make sure your husband respects you too. Again, this is something where other things (in this case, posts about husbands respecting their wives) do exist on Pinterest, but they don't come up in the "Wedding Planning" section.

"YOU MUST, YOU MUST, YOU MUST!" -- Rarity

So, again, this all boils down to the rampant "musterbation" of Pinterest users.  "Musterbation" is a term that shows that we psychologists do have a sense of humor!  It was coined by Albert Ellis referring to, as described by UrbanDictionary.com "the tendency to think that certain things 'must' occur or 'must' be done." Cute, huh?  So how is Pinterest guilty of "musterbating" in the sense of wedding planning?  So many - too many - posts on Pinterest are written to effect of: "every bride must have this for her wedding day!" "I must must must have this!" "25 things you will regret doing if you forget this on your wedding day!" It's really, again, dangerous.  I realize that anyone who does blindly listen to an image-board site is probably not going to get far in life really, so who would do that? But honestly, if you're trying to plan your wedding to be realistic, Pinterest can be a little bit problematic. 

All In All...

Soooooooooooooo... the takeaway message?  Pinterest is great for inspiration, but be mindful of what you really want, who your guests will be, and really there is nothing you must do on your wedding other than get married (which might not even require a wedding at all, so...). Other resources like Off Beat Bride and When Geeks Wed for more, creative, non-traditional ideas.  Also, yeah, don't buy a book that tells you how to save money because that's not saving money...

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some pins to browse through.

on Unemployment, Wedding Planning, and Time Management

For the past couple of years, while in my graduate school program, I was often overwhelmed with what little time I had to do all the things I needed to do.  There was always the "I have work and homework and studying to do" excuse for not doing some of the things that might need to be done, or that I might want to do, so it was easy to push aside low-priority projects and concentrate on the immediate (school related) ones.

After graduating, it seems as if I have all the time in the world to do what I want. Well, now that I'm not working or studying, I should have plenty of time to...

• find a job
• plan the wedding
• visit family
• catch up with friends
• volunteer
• run and get in shape
• learn/re-learn Chinese, Japanese, and/or Spanish
• blog more
• catch up on video games
• get to pro level in League of Legends
• draw and paint more
• catch up on sleep
• cook
• be sane

 Well... all of these take quite a bit of time, and it seems like, within a day, I haven't been able to do nearly as many of these as I like.  And now, there's really no excuse for why things wouldn't be done - after all, there's no need to study or do homework or write papers, I have all the time in the world, why can't I get things done?

Of course, there has been a lot of wedding-planning and (fruitless) job-finding, but none of the family-visiting, definitely very little (evidently) blogging.  I volunteer twice a week (soon to be once a week as the agency I volunteer for is getting their interns to work for the fall now), but I haven't been able to get into the habit of exercising everyday, so I'm not getting in shape.  And of course, trying to do all of these while staying at home almost all day every day (except for volunteering days) makes it hard to stay sane (well, that's what going out and running and exercising should be for, really).

I try and space my time out for wedding planning, but it's difficult when you have a particular plan for the day and someone decides to call and ruin your whole plan.  For example, today was supposed to be spent researching florists and setting up appointments with them.  But then, the sales manager from the hotel next to our wedding venue calls to give me the specs on booking a block of rooms with them.  So I feel the need to switch gears and check how many people will need accommodations as they'd be coming from out-of-town, and then of course, since I don't actually have a good number, I feel the need to work on Save The Dates so I can ask friends if they think they could make it or not and then, of course, the wedding website address needs to be on the Save The Dates so I feel the need to work on that, and at the end of the day (and this very run-on sentence), nothing really gets done at all.  Just one e-mail goes out saying, "I'll discuss this information with my fiancee and get back to in a couple of weeks."

All in all, it seems as if having time is just as overwhelming as not having it.

on Wedding Venue Visits

Wedding planning is hard... especially since you only do it once (hopefully).  Visiting potential venues is both easier and harder than I imagined.  It's easier in that, making appointments isn't really a hassle, and the personnel are very friendly and generally helpful - kind of.  It's hard in that you have to remember that they're on an agenda of trying to win your business while they're wowing you with all the best-looking places of their space (including hand-painted bathroom fixtures) and reasons why they're the best place in town.  Despite helpful guides of what to ask venues, there's still much more to a venue visit than keeping track of the questions you need to have answered.  After my first visit to two potential venues, here are my reminders/tips to myself for future visits, and for others who might be wondering what to do the first time you go to see a place.  Some of these might be silly, and others might seem common-sensey, but somehow they're easy to forget when you're marveling at the hand-painted roses on a toilet.

1. EAT FIRST - It's hard to think straight on an empty stomach, especially if the venue is going to start advertising its catering business (if you're going to have a separate catering business, this might apply less).  We went on empty stomachs, so when the venue showed us its very lengthy and formidable menu items, Mr. Hubby-to-Be instantly fell in love with the first place, or the sound of it, just at the mention of food.  After we got a little lunch in us afterwards, we were able to weigh other aspects of the site in addition to its menu, but before then, we were thinking with our stomachs, not our hearts or our brains. Food is very important to me us, so thinking with our stomachs might not be all that bad, but is definitely something we want to avoid.  Mr. Hubby-to-Be, also, decided not to look at the menu for the second potential venue until later in order to avoid the problem altogether.


2. ACCEPT ANY COMPLIMENTARY SERVICE - This only happened at the first venue we went to, but was a major selling point of the place for me.  The sales director, before we sat down to discuss the pricing, offered us something to drink.  I was a little thrown off by the offer and couldn't think of what I might want, so I just asked for water, and Mr. Man insisted he didn't need anything.  It was only after the server brought the water that I realized how helpful it was to have seen them actually bring me a drink - because they way they treat you now is (supposedly) indicative of how they will treat your guests.  I was very happy with the way that even a simple water came with a selection of lime or lemon wedges and the server asked very professionally if I would like either, and took a set of tongs to place my choice gently into the water, before gently setting the glass in front of me.  So yes, if you are offered a drink or snack, do accept, because you get a chance to see the staff's manners, and dress; the way you feel when being served by them is the experience your guests would be having as well.


3. BRING SOMETHING TO TAKE NOTES ON - You get told things, you observe things, and everything can happen pretty fast.  Prices, linen colors available, minimums, maximums, timelines, outlines, thoughts, feelings, annoyances - if you're like me, it can be very overwhelming and then quite difficult to remember everything that happens at once.  You'll want to take the time to slow down and process everything.  What did you like? What didn't you like?  What of the dislikes can be overlooked?  What did you like that you can't live without?  Logistically, what works?  Don't be pressured by the sales person's pace.  Ask questions and re-ask if you need to, and then write answers down so you remember it later when you're trying to compare and pick a venue.  One venue gave us a sheet of prices and food right up front, which helped for note-taking, but another merely gave a pamphlet with no writing space. So I included in my bible binder of wedding-planning, a notebook of lined paper.  I'm thinking of three different ways to take notes:
   • Make a worksheet of all the questions you have for a venue, then fill in the blanks.
   • Make a sheet with Pros/Cons, Likes/Dislikes columns, and fill them in as you see the place.
   • Use a blank sheet of paper, write like you're taking notes in class, and try to make sense of it later...
   So, I like the first one most, but that leads me to another problem I had at my first visit where I got too stuck on the list of questions I felt like I was supposed to ask. 


4. GO IN WITH AN OPEN MIND, DON'T GET TOO STUCK ON A LIST OF QUESTIONS - I got kind of scared by the whole "What's included in the fees?" question, specifically, for some reason, linens.  I think I asked our sales director at the first venue around 3 times if linens were included in the price he was giving.  He must think I'm obsessed with tablecloths.  It was in part because I was nervous and couldn't quite remember what else was on THE LIST to ask, but remember to get the person's contact info (business card will usually be distributed, probably) so you can ask questions later if something comes up.


5. ASK IF THE DRESSING ROOMS ARE AVAILABLE TO SEE - I totally didn't realize that a venue would be showing itself off with events almost-underway.  This provided a good opportunity to understand what the rooms look like when set up (although there are pictures online, it's good to get the sense of what it's like in person), however it also made it so some areas were off limits for viewing.  In the first venue visit, it was nice to see what the dressing room was like.  Even though it's a small detail, it's still an important part of the big day: there will be pictures taken in the dressing room, you want to be sure it will fit all your bridesmaids and helpers, and you want to be comfortable while you're getting ready.  And you never know, there might be hand-painted toilets. 


6. KEEP IN MIND WHAT YOU WANT - While it is good to keep an open mind, if you have a specific image in mind, like I do, don't be swayed by their hand-painted bathroom fixtures into sacrificing the look-and-feel you wanted.  The venue we saw so far was certainly pretty and fancy, but the walls and pillars overall are a little dark in color (black/gold coloring) for what I had in mind (with potentially using khaki suits/vests on the dudes, I didn't expect to have much black at the wedding at all). Basically, don't try and fit a square peg into a round hole - if you have something you want, don't try and mash your image into a setting that doesn't fit it. 

on the Toilet Seat...

As a lady, I have heard it said that I should teach my man that the toilet seat should be left down. I say to that:

"NO."

As a person - a practical person - I will always argue that the toilet cover should be closed, should a toilet cover exist, at all times when not in use. This is the most practical, egalitarian state of the toilet.

When the toilet is left uncovered (regardless of the position of the seat), there's always the possibility of something falling into the toilet bowl - something I actually had problems with as a clumsy child. Even if the toilet has been flushed and untouched for the day, knocking your toothbrush off the counter with your elbow into the seat-down, cover-up toilet bowl makes you never want to use the toothbrush again. No one should have to suffer that travesty.

Also, with the cover closed, both male and female occupants will have to lift something up to do their business (and usually, the cover and seat can be lifted in one single motion). Yay, equality!

When finished with one's business at the can, the cover should be closed before flushing because, apparently, spray from a toilet's fush can carry fecal particles up to 6 feet away (and land on things like your toothbrushes). Gross. Close that toilet cover.

In some cases, still, the toilet cover does not exist, or it is not practical to keep it closed. For example, parties where people are generally inebriated to some degree and may or may not be capable of distinguishing between different states of the toilet. I often attend gatherings where I am one of fewer females and most of the dudes are drunk. In this case, if I find the toilet seat left up, I will put it down, do my business, and return it to the state I found it in. I'm a big girl - I can move the toilet-contraption-things too! Wouldn't you much rather worry about just putting the toilet seat down, then having to mop up the miss-aimed piss of an inebriated buddy (or stranger, depending on the party)? Note this person with bad aim might even be female! Because, lets face it, if a girl's too drunk to notice the toilet seat is up, she probably wasn't going to be very neat about her business anyway. (this is something that always surprises me about public female bathrooms - I don't know how some of us miss, but I guess we manage to!) Might as well let her fall in as concequences of her own actions, rather than let her make you clean up after her own irresponsibility!

Any woman who expects that the man should "rightfully" remember to leave the seat down for her is just asking for trouble in a relationship. We are strong enough to lift and lower the toilet seat (and the cover) on our own, and having the cover down is, regardless, the most sensible state of the toilet.

on Obsessions

Egads - a post! Let me explain: So I have a terrible habit of becoming easily obsessed with things. Blogging, however, has not yet become one of them. It is more like an outlet to deal with these sorts of obsessions when I am not actively seeing a therapist.

I stopped blogging before because I went back to New York from my parent's home after summer vacation to continue my schooling (not that I have many regular followers who would notice at this point. Or ever.) I did, however, have some time left to do other things... This was around the time that Mass Effect 3 came out and I really began playing. Well, to be more precise, I watched my boyfriend play it, and I was so intrigued, I started from Mass Effect moved on to Mass Effect 2, and somewhere during that play-through, I caused my boyfriend's X-Box to permanently red-ring. During the time I was playing Mass Effect, I kept thinking about how it would be fun to do a blog post about the series. But playing the game clearly took priority over writing about it. In the downtime between trying desperately to resurrect the old X-Box, buying a new X-Box, and transferring the save files between the old and new using a friend's working X-Box (really long story, quite entertaining in itself), I thought about writing the post, but still - getting through the second game and onto the third in all its glory (bad ending and all) was my top priority and, thus, no blog post was ever fully written. I still have quite a few drafts that I never felt were polished enough for me to publish including a rare fan-girl rant about the wonders of Garrus; I may someday revist, finalize and post them.

However, I now have a new obsession on my hands... WEDDING PLANNING. It has consumed almost every fiber of my being. My then-boyfriend is my now-fiancée and I couldn't be more excited. In fact, I could really stand to be less excited. I haven't been able to sleep for the past few days and every time I close my eyes I envision more and more details of what my perfect wedding would look like. An important note is that my hubby-to-be and I are not planning to have our wedding until at least a year from now - more like 14 months away. (Raise your hand if you think I should continue actively seeing therapy! Don't have your hand raised yet? We'll change that by the end of the post, I'm sure.) I'm quite confident that I made myself sick by not going to sleep until I had finished an inspiration board collage to show to my planning-helpers (I get sick easily which is made worse by lack of sleep...)

"Wow, with such early and visionary planning, you'll have your wedding just the way you want it!" might be your thoughts. Well... No. A lot of what I'm thinking now are small details and have many conflicting elements which I would HATE if I put all of them in one wedding (that whole "less is more" and yada yada yada). Everytime I see something I like on Pinterest (which I just joined for just the purpose of wedding planning and had never used before), I think "That would be great, but how can I mesh it in with my color scheme (which I've decided on years ago and still love) and theme?" And it's hard for me to negotiate between weeding out old ideas to replace with new ones that I might find inspiring, and sticking with what I know and love and have dreamed of for years!

About every 5-10 minutes this weekend, I'd ask my hubby-to-be a wedding related question. "Do we want..." "Should we..." and he pointed out to me, "You know, with this wedding over a year away, if you spend every moment of every day between now and then thinking about the wedding, you're not going to enjoy the wedding very much, you'll just feel stressed and crazy." And I know that, personally, if I spend every moment trying to get every detail just right, I know I'm going to be freaking out on the day-of wondering why every detail is not just right.

Not only that, but I'm just barely learning what wedding planning entails! I've now seen lots of checklists and consulted with my wiser friends who are now veterans of the matrimonial process, but I learn best by doing, and it's quite nerve-wracking for me to think that, no, I can't just plan a "trial wedding" and see how it goes before moving on with the real thing. Well, someone could, maybe, but I certainly don't have the time, funds, or sanity for that.

So the mention of funds and sanity brings me to why I have started to blog about this again. Because I am not actively seeing a therapist (no insurance makes sad-wallet), and I no longer have school (graduated a couple weeks ago from my Master's program), and I'm currently looking for a new job (no money, but lots of time!), I've decided to try blog about my wedding planning process to:

1. give me something to do
2. organize my thoughts & planning
3. give me some sort of thing to look back on in the years to come unless the internet explodes
4. manage my obsessions, maintain my sanity, and help me sleep at night
5. share my creations/creativity

So, about that last point, given that I feel like am a poor mental-health-counselor-eligible-for-licensure-currently-unemployeed-seeking-entry-level-job, I want to be able to make this in a reasonable budget and I know our location is going to eat up a lot of expenses - and I want to give a lot of this wedding a personal touch - so I plan to get started early and do much of the creation myself. I'm not usually much of a DIY person, but I really love crafts, design, and putting my own work into a day that will be one of the most special days in my life is now, well... an obsession. I will update this later with a picture to break up this wall of text.

on Love and Tolerance: Prologue - Reaction to Teens' Reactions

Yo dawg, I heard you like reactions, so I decided to post my reactions to the reactions of teens watching the MLP:FIM Opening. All overused Xzbit memes aside, this video, along with several other happenings and stories from the Brony community have really sparked my interest over the idea of "Love and Tolerance" which is supposedly one of the key aspects of the show and Bronydom (sorry, if that's not a legit fanword - I'm not terribly in tune with the movement, I just mostly like the show). So first, for those who haven't seen it, here's the video:

So, In addition to my reactions to several of the kids featured in the video, specifically, I have my own reactions to the questions in general, and so I'll break this series of words down into a number of posts:
0 - Specific Comments/Children
I - Ponies and Relationships
II - Bronies and Sexism/Gender Norms (& Sexuality)
III - Sharing, Caring, and Copyrights
IV - Tolerating Dislike of Ponies

So with these individual kids, there are a number of different reactions from disgust to an enthusiastic love for Ponies and Bronies. I'm not going to talk about each of the kids in here, just the ones that I had specific comments towards, and will do so in order of their appearance in the video.

The Adam-Person:
His general opinion (by the end of the video): "Bronies are all trolls. They don't actually like the show, they're just using that as a guise to stir up controversy, and for that I support them."
How do I feel about this? Uh, well, from what I've seen, that doesn't seem to be the case. I'm not saying that Bronies and Trolls are mutually exclusive - there are certainly Bronies that are trolls and trolls that are Bronies, but certainly not all Bronies are trolls and those who are Bronies are more than likely actual fans of the show, not just trolling. I mean, I know trolls will go out of their way to troll, indeed. But organizing conferences, creating new games, art, toy-mods, etc? This is definitely not a troll movement. The sheer amount of creativity involved in the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic fan-base really shows that people care about and enjoy the show.

The Isaac-Person:
His general reaction: "The Brony phenomenon is weird, but I won't judge them."
This. This kid is awesome and I hope that attitude remains with him in all things. His words, "Do your thing - I'm not gonna judge you" is really what people need to think more about all things. Even if you do judge, just a little... as long as you can accept it, you can be the getalonginest pony person ever, and that's great.

The Jade-Person (well no, she's not actually a person made of Jade):
This particular person knew of Bronies before being told about the fan based, and said she had watched a bit, but the show was not really for her. This alone I think is a fine opinion. I might argue that you need to watch at least 3 episodes to really get a good sense of the show, but at least she tried, so, okay. I do have a small beef with what she and some of the other girls say, but I will address that in Part I.

The Jourdan-Person:
Okay, hold on - Fluttershy mode so I don't sound super hateful because I'm not hateful, just... irritated.

HOW DARE YOU?! Listen here, mister: Just because you think you're cool, doesn't mean you get to be a bully! You may have a silly emo haircut, and your hipster pink plaid-y shirt, but you do not, I repeat you do NOT have the right to judge ANYONE because they like a show with large amounts of rainbows, pink and purple. You got that?

And in fact, he can't even say anything like, "but the rainbowy ones kicked me" because nothing like that's ever happened. This was obviously his first exposure to My Little Pony and he's already hating on it. With statements like, "I'm a little concerned that you think that I should watch that... because you thought I'm on the other side of the road, and I'm not?" But, geeze, we'll address Bronies and sexuality/sexism later.

COME ON. You're wearing a shirt with pink in it, you ADMITTED IT (in the deleted scenes), and you're STILL raggin' on guys who like this BECAUSE THERE'S PINK IN IT. DON'T YOU, "BUT I-" me, mister. Now what do you have to say for yourself?

But really - in all seriousness, with the silly hairdo and pink shirt thing, he might argue that he's just trying to assert his individuality, and express himself. Well, so are Bronies - so how can he hate on them for just being who they are, just like he's doing? Imma slap this one with my HYPOCRITE stamp and move on.


The Devin-Person:
This is my favorite little person, not because he's an instant Brony convert (in fact, it scares me that just the opening is so appealing to him), but because his comments are right on the mark of Love and Tolerance and awesome. On being asked why guys would like this, he said, "Because there's, like, nothing wrong with it - it's just, like, fun" YES. EXAAAAAAACTLY. That's what people really need these days. I know from personal experience, and also from my studies (on friendship? lol) that in today's society, we all need a little bit of fun! While not everyone may find their enjoyment in Ponies, as long as people have their way of harmlessly finding joy, there should be no reason for anyone to deny them that, or to judge them for that. No one's going to say, "you shouldn't be rock climbing!" or "you're a disgrace to society for painting!" The only reason why these Bronies are so controversial is because they're breaking expected gender and age norms/expectations. And for that, I am thankful.

We'll talk more about those individual expectations momentarily, but really, I'm just happy that Bronies really bring to light how backwards, hypocritical, and just plain strange our gender norms really are.

(Disclaimer: All screenshots used are property and copyright of Hasbro)

on 3D Movies - Beauty and the Beast 3D Review

Meh.

I mean... well... Meh.

I went to go see Beauty and the Beast 3D on Friday with my mother and it's the first movie I've seen in 3D. So as a very graphics oriented person, I thought I'd share my opinion on this nowhere-near-new trend.

Ever since Avatar, (or even before?) almost all movies produced have been in 3D, or otherwise with the option of 3D. So why did I wait until now to see a 3D movie? Well... I thought the trend was over-hyped and I don't really do well with 3D things on big screens - I felt like throwing up when playing Elder Scrolls: Oblivion on his home's basement wall-sized projector home studio. BUT there were a few reasons why I chose to see Beauty and the Beast 3D.

1. Having seen the original Beauty and the Beast before, I thought I would be able to focus less on the story (since I would know what was going on anyway) and really scrutinize the 3D effects and other graphics.
2. There really weren't any other movies that caught my eye that I want to see in theaters at this time
3. Tangled: Ever After short. Need I say more? Yes, I paid to see a full-length film mostly on account of wanting to watch this adorable, hilarious, epic little epilogue to one of my favorite movies of all time.

So, lets work backwards on this list.

The Tangled: Ever After short. Sooooo super cute - granted, despite being over the legal drinking age in the USA, I have the mind of a 5 year old. (Well, not exactly, otherwise I would've been scared by the Beast, as Mom told me I was the first time I saw Beauty and the Beast in theaters as a child.) As a huge fan of Pascal and Maximus, this little short's focus on their try-hard attempts to not make the royal wedding a complete disaster had me at the edge of my seat like, "NOOOOOOoooo! YAAAAAAAAAAY! C'MON PASCAL YOU CAN DO IT!" The 3D effects were nice, but not particularly eye-popping, nor immersing. As far as seeing my favorite little dudes be epically hilarious? I got what I wanted.

I was actually quite happy to see Beauty and the Beast 3D, even though I probably wouldn't have without the preface of the Tangled short (even though my mom asked: "Why did they show that? Did they put in the wrong movie?") I forgot how touching the story is and how much I really liked Beauty and the Beast. The story, basic animation, and songs are all the same as the original. But the picture quality was superb, the colors were clear, and the animation was smooth - kind of. I'll get to that in a sec, though.

So the 3D effects were pretty cool, and interesting. Because it looks the same (otherwise) as the original, cell-shaded animation as before, you get the effect of layers of 2D paper cutouts that have depth relative to each other, and not so much depth/shape as a whole. There are some times when they try to break out of this, I noticed, such as when Belle is standing behind a table, but with her hand on the edge closest to the viewer. They certainly didn't do a BAD job with it, but I noticed the effect there and it didn't seem quite right - I felt like her arm was particularly longer than it should've looked. Also, sometimes it felt like things that were spinning/dancing became blurred because of the 3D effect, but maybe it was just because I wasn't paying enough attention. One of the things that did make me feel immersed was the weather effects - the rain and snow that they made 3D was actually quite impressive. Also, the 3D parts that were particularly effective was when you would be looking into a window or mirror, and can still see the frame.
When the camera would zoom out, however, I felt like the 3D effects could be quite jarring, because all of a sudden, "OMG, TREE BRANCH!" Overall though, I was quite pleased with what they did, despite the limitation of looking like a set of cutouts.

The best 3D parts were: the castle scenery, Be Our Guest scene, and the dance scene (in which "OMG, TREE BRANCH" was replaced with "ZOMG, CHANDELIER").
But even still, I say "meh" to the idea of 3D movies as a whole, because it doesn't really add anything to the experience. In fact, I felt myself pushing those 3D glasses up to my face so often, it was felt less immersed because of this constant reminder I was in a theater. If, someday, they can do 3D movies without the glasses (like the 3DS - another thing I need to examine) then I might remove the "meh" opinion from it. But otherwise, I just feel like I'd rather watch a movie normally.

Overall, however, I had a good time, mostly a nostalgic experience with a quality movie. :D

on the Psychology of Star Wars: The Old Republic

So here's where look super geeky with a mix of my educational side and my gamer side. Small beginning disclaimer: this is in no way any sort of scholarly article, and is really just my ramblings about how some psychological theories along with the game play of Star Wars: The Old Republic may interact. As you read, please keep in mind that I am NOT saying in any way that SWTOR is bad, that games are bad, or any sort of that nonsense. This is me just throwing my ideas and how I string the elements that I encounter in life together. Also, please note that I am really quite insane and tend to take things I see in games and movies with me in real life and incorporate parts of them in to myself. I will explain further what I mean, but I wanted to throw out there that I realize not everyone is like this, and so my worries about the implications of SWTOR in real life may not apply to everyone.

Now that we have that out of the way...

The topic I am really curious about is the impact of decision making and the view of morality as we see in SWTOR and how it might influence individual feelings of morality in real life.

First, for those of you who are not familiar with the gaming realm, SWTOR is a very story-line based game, where you can pick different things to say or do in quests and conversations. Some of these decisions are trivial, with no impact whatsoever other than making the non-player character (NPC) you're talking to react in a different way initially, to other decisions that affect whether someone (again, an NPC, not anyone in your party) dies and/or determines what rewards you obtain. Some of these decisions will gain you Light or Dark side points, which may affect what gear you can wear, or lightsaber colors you can have. So when deciding what to say, you will be shown whether your decision is a Light or Dark sided option and yes, you can be a Jedi that has become aligned with the Dark side, or a Sith with Light side alignment (I don't think you can ever actually change factions though).

Secondly, for those of you who are not familiar with the psychology realm, I will explain one of the key theories in my thinking: Cognitive Dissonance theory. So while I've linked to the Wikipedia article on it for those of you interested, here's just a quick run-down. Basically, if we see ourselves behaving (speaking and/or doing something) in some way that is inconsistent with beliefs [we think] we hold, this causes cognitive dissonance, which is anxiety inducing, and we must make some sort of alteration in either the behavior or the beliefs in order to remove/reduce this anxiety. This is, of course, dependent on there being no other explanation for our belief-inconsistent-behavior, such as payment or other rewards. FOR EXAMPLE: one of the simplest studies of cognitive dissonance was to have subjects come in to a lab and perform some very meaningless, useless, and especially boring task. It was after this task that the real experiment began - upon finishing, the subject would be asked to tell the next person coming in (really just a person working for the experiment) that the task was fun and enjoyable. In one condition, the participant was offered some sum of money (like $20) for lying, and in the other, the participant was offered either no money or some piddling, negligible amount. Then, before leaving the lab, they filled out a survey which included questions about how fun the task was. For those who were offered the larger sum of money, the survey was overall rated as boring, and not fun, while those who were not offered that money rated the task as fun. Basically you have the people in the former condition thinking (probably outside their awareness), "Why did I say that was fun? Well of course I SAID it was fun because they gave me $20 to do so - but it really wasn't fun at all" while those in the latter condition would have been left with thoughts such as, "Why did I say it was fun? I guess it must've been pretty fun, but they gave me $1 to say it was fun... but that's not enough money to make me lie, so I guess it was fun." This is just one of the examples of this theory, but we see how inconsistency between behavior and beliefs can result in a change in one or the other, when there is no other explanation that adequately accounts for the inconsistency. And, because the behavior is usually hard to change (on account of it being in the past, and not necessarily going to be repeated), it is usually the thoughts that are altered.

So now that we know that SWTOR makes you choose between Dark and Light side behaviors, and that if we see ourselves doing something inconsistent with our beliefs, we might end up changing those beliefs. So how does this impact morality? Well if we consider the Light side as inherently good and moral, and the Dark side as bad and evil, then the game's labels of some decisions as Light and others as Dark then we are making decisions that are already labeled as "moral" or "immoral." This is where I start to have a problem and I, personally, start feeling a lot of cognitive dissonance.

Lets start with a concrete example: there's a Trooper (Light-side) quest where you're asked by a mother to find her missing son who had been kidnapped. When you find him, he says he would like to leave the planet so his kidnappers won't find him again. Your two options, at this point are to give him enough money so he can escape the planet on his own (Light-side) or have him go to his parents (Dark-side).

Here, in playing a Jedi, I feel as if I should take ALL the Light-side points (_o/ <-- Allie Brosh pose) and be the ideal Jedi, but goddamnit, I'm ASIAN. I'd HAVE to send a kid to his parents if they're so worried about him! So if I had picked the Light option to give him money, I would've been feeling quite a bit of anxiety over my decision - thankfully for me, this was actually my boyfriend playing and I was watching while my computer was going through a reset-to-manufacturer's-settings (a whole story in itself). But what about the alternate explanation - could there be some sort of reasoning behind a decision that would've been inconsistent with my beliefs? Well, as my thinking went, it was, "It's just a game, I should take the Light-side option to get all the Light-side POINTS....... but... it's just a GAME and the points don't do much, so I should do what I think is right." So on the one hand, the "just a game" argument could be used as justification for inconsistent behavior, but paradoxically could be seen as inadequate reasoning for the same thing - it all really depends on the individual person's point of view.

So, here's where I feel like it may have a broader impact. I wonder if it is possible that I'm not the only person that feels these moral dilemmas between picking decisions that are in line with their character's Light or Dark alignment, and their own personal beliefs, values, and morals. I mean, if the Dark/Light points and alignment had a greater impact on the story and on others' interactions with you in the game instead of just changing what gear you can wear and what colors you can use for your blaster or lightsaber, then perhaps there would be enough incentive to make a decision that goes against your personal beliefs without causing cognitive dissonance and the resulting anxiety. If there is such a greater impact, then I haven't played the game enough yet to find it. But I wonder if Jedi/Sith morals will begin to set itself into people's value sets because of the role of cognitive dissonance.

I do like how being able to play on either side kind of blurs the line between "Good" and "Evil" though, as some Dark-side options have some very good reasoning behind them, and could be very logically justified as being for the good of others.

on Other Blogs That are Awesome

Because blogging is not my life, and because reading THIS blog is not YOUR life, here are some other great places to waste your time while you procrastinate on doing your studies and/or paying your bills! I've made a new page for convenience, but I didn't want too lengthy of descriptions on every link, so I'll go through and qualify some of these where appropriate for their first introduction.

Friends
OnAHumanJourney
Blog: YouTube videos, how-to tutorials for crafts like 3D origami. Run by a super hilarious domesticated gamer brony. Because he probably won't plug this, I will: he's single, ladies, but don't jump all over that at once. ;D

Live Creatively Now
Blog: craft tutorials - simple, easy to understand and easy to do. It's good for both noobs like me and pros as well, I'm sure. Smart and funny, with occasional pictures of kitties and biscuts!

The Contribution Project
Blog: a more political blog about "Global health through the lens of business management" - very insightful and thought provoking. For those of you who like words and reading them, this is a place for you.


Inspiration
Hyperbole and a Half
I only wish I could say I were friends with the amazing, witty, brilliant Allie Brosh, but alas, I am just an avid fan of her hilarious blog. I will be a Hyperbole and a Half hipster and say that I was a fan before the "X ALL the Y" memes hit the internet. In fact, I was saying "X ALL the Y" before it was all over the internet. Can't get enough of her stuff? She also has posts on The Gloss. While I have heard people criticize the simplicity of her art, I think her art is really amazing, especially the way she can depict a hysterical dog and the point of view of said dog in said state of hysteria. Honestly, she's all sorts of awesome and win. If you only read one blog in your life - make it hers, not the silly trash that I have here.


I will probably definitely add more to the "Inspiration" half, as there are definitely more I can think of, and I will be growing my friends list as I stumble upon more of their blogs, or as I make more friends!

on My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is undoubtedly a rather large and unexpected phenomenon and I am particularly late in writing about it... But IMMA DO IT ANYWAY CUZ I FEEL LIKE IT.

So.

I guess it starts as to why I started watching this AMAZING SHOW. Being an internet lurker, it was kind of impossible to avoid the memes and adorable pictures that flooded the internet and it was, of course, visually appealing, but I was still wary and didn't really think much of it. Not until season two started and references of the new (at the time) villain as Q really caught me. You have to understand - I was raised on Star Trek (and The Simpsons, but I digress). I had to watch Season Two... For Discord. Of course, starting on Season Two made no sense (yeah, I tried), so I went and watched the first two episodes to get the context... and then proceeded to watch the rest of Season One in the next two days... because Fluttershy.

I have to admit, even within the time I have been watching MLP:FIM, my opinions on the show has changed. Like, I used to hate Pinkie Pie and her songs, and now I've realized that I most like Pinkie Pie and love [most of] her songs. A less trivial change in my opinion, however, is my view of the show overall. I used to think it was a pretty awesome kids show. Now I feel like it's not-really-a-kid's-show disguised as a kid's show. For example this just about sums up my thoughts about the latest episode.

As for the social implications, if there are any, I might throw out my view on those later... For now, time to play SWTOR.

on The Rationale of This Blog

Well, here I am: writing a blog. And here you are reading my blog. Why any of these are happening, I really haven't the slightest idea. But, while you're here, I suppose I shall at least try to rationalize this interaction between my writings and your readings.

I've had for a while, in the back of my mind, the idea to just express the thoughts that go through my mind, regardless of whether or not anyone will read them. Well, you're here reading my thoughts right now, and for that, I suppose I should thank you. What kind of thoughts will appear here?; A variety of things, probably, since I am a particularly varied person. This could range from rants about political views, game reviews, craft projects, photos, or just random ramblings. This leads to several things I must disclose in order to convince you that you are crazy for continuing to read this.

• There is no planned schedule for updates/posts - they will be added as inspiration and time allow for.
• Everything written will be my opinion and not something I will be trying to pass off as fact.
• There will My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic references - perhaps not in every post, but they will happen.
• I might not reveal too much about who I am for a number of reasons. For simplicity's sake, let us just assume that I am a cynical, paranoid person who thinks that revealing the fact that I live on Earth will result in many terrible, horrible, no-good things.
• I am a hateful person. There will be much insulting of myself, others, and... anything

As for how this blog began, one day one of my dear ol' friends talked about her own blog and so by her inspiration (unfortunately for you) the next morning I rolled out of bed and began to hammer away at this project.

The Title: Please Remind Me to Poop
I feel the need to explain this, and I'm hoping that there is not another blog/page/space/site/etc. out there with such a crude title for several reasons. Particularly, I find this a fitting title because it is really quite telling of some of the things you will read in this blog. Another reason is that it is quite befitting of how I am - in fact, I started this right after waking up at 11am (shut up, I'm on Winter Break) and it is currently past 2 and I have yet to brush my teeth or eat breakfast.

... Actually, I'm kind of hungry, so let's save the rest of the explanation for another page. That "Why" tab up there... It seems you know how to read, so you should be able to find it.