What is a Safe Space?
I feel like the term has been thrown around a lot by different people in different contexts, and the term itself has been used without, perhaps, being properly understood. The term itself has become a symbol without people actually taking a look at its meaning, and frankly, it's true purpose. The article I linked from the Chicago Tribune states, that safe spaces are "designed to shelter students from certain speakers and topics." And that is really NOT the purpose, because that would be extremely problematic, but more on that on why Safe Spaces are important - for now, lets redefine what a Safe Space could, and dare I say, should* be.For what I have seen in my work as a Counselor who works with survivors of intense, interpersonal trauma, I define a Safe Space as: a place where discomfort, fear, and trauma are recognized, brought into the open, allowed and respected. Safe spaces, as I see them, are places where people are free to express their discomfort and not be judged or belittled. It is a place where people are free to express survivorship and not be shamed or dismissed. It is a place where language is used respectfully and people are not talked at or down to, but a place where meaningful discussion can happen which stems from the different minds and experiences in the room. It is a place where disagreement can happen and where ideas are challenged and scrutinized, but people are not attacked personally. It sounds like it might be hard because people get very attached to their ideas and their opinions (I know I'm guilty of this also). But it's about making a space where people are able to hear, "well I think that logic is faulty" and not take it as a personal insult.
Of course, a person may need to step out if the room for a while if the content is too much for them to handle, but a Safe Space doesn't mean they're out of the discussion or are excused from whatever assignment may be related to it, but rather that they join again when they can, and speak with the professor or TA about best strategies and needs for moving forward in the classroom and the course as a whole.
Examples:
I was at a three-day conference where all we talked about was rape, domestic violence, human trafficking, sexual assault, racism, sexism, etc. etc. etc. and how to help our communities battle these. This could only be done by first recognizing that there were survivors of these crimes in the room. That these topics are heavy and hard and complex and icky. And that people will disagree but disagreements can be held in respect.My own office is a Safe Space. And we sure as hell don't avoid talking about scary, triggering things in there. It's a space where the client is asked to and allowed to face and process their experiences of violence, their reactions to those experiences, and to learn from them.
So why are they important?
Safe Spaces are super important so that we can break the silence about horrors like Domestic Violence, Sexual Assault, Human Trafficking, Child Abuse, War, Rape, Dating Violence, Animal Poaching, Environmental Destruction, Racism, Sexism, Oppression, Ableism, etc., etc., etc. Because these are not issues that will go away by remaining ignorant or silent about them. The more we can teach others at whatever age why and how these societal issues exist, and what we can do to help prevent them, the better life might be for everyone. And because these topics aren't scary just for the people who have survived them. The thought that people do bad things in the world, or that we aren't a perfect society, is something that's very hard to come to terms with, even for, and maybe especially for, people who have never experienced these things. If I, or we -- as community members, as a society -- want people to learn about the world in all its beauty and its horrors, Safe Spaces should* be a place where triggering topics are not avoided, but, really, where they can be brought to light.Frankly, anyone who says that a "Safe Space" is to shelter individuals is using the term really problematically. Not only is it really unhealthy to avoid or ignore triggering topics, but even if you tried to have a "[Problematic] Safe Space" where you can only talk about unicorns and rainbows, you might find someone for whom rainbows are a trigger or consistently has nightmares about being impaled by unicorns. (another example -- I know of a story where a practitioner tried to do a relaxing exercise for their group, they put on a recording of a campfire crackling. One of the participants recently had their home burn down so the recording did the opposite of helping her relax.) As polite as I like to be with people to coddle fragile egos, this view of safe spaces is simply wrong and simply unproductive.
Trigger Warnings
Likewise, Trigger Warnings are not to tell people "don't come to class if you can't handle our next discussion," it's to provide people with the chance to prepare themselves mentally and to help enrich the discussion, not to impede or prevent it. Not only is throwing a student into a panic attack unprepared in the middle of class damaging to that student, it disrupts the entire class as well. A student who is given a trigger warning and is able to prepare could:- tell the professor that they may be triggered and:
- plan ahead to sit closer to the door to quietly excuse themselves for a while until they feel calm again to prevent a full-blown trauma/anxiety reaction (or panic attack).
- get permission to bring in water or snacks that might otherwise not be allowed, if this helps the person cope
- get permission to bring in other coping mechanisms, such as doodling or coloring to help the student remain grounded and engaged in the classroom.
- anyone who says "the professor shouldn't have to give any individual student this level of attention" has extremely low standards for education, but that is something outside of this topic.
- ask their therapist for safety planning tips, or other calming mechanisms
Whether or not there are enough spaces in our fair country that are ready to truly call themselves Safe Spaces.... well, there's a lot of work to do.
Notes:
Dissociation/Disconnection*"should" is a very dangerous word that I try to avoid to prevent imposing my beliefs and thoughts on others, but lets be real here, I'm writing something to try and persuade people about what I think Safe Spaces should look like, so I'm gonna say this is what they should look like.
Dissociation can come in many forms, from the more severe and chronic which could be categorized as "disorders" to smaller episodes which might happen from time to time. For someone who has experienced trauma (directly or vicariously), it is quite common to dissociate, or basically, shut down, when triggers come up. This doesn't have to be panic-attack-like symptoms, but in a classroom setting, can look a lot like not paying attention, or not being able to focus (visually or mentally). Disconnection, I write separately though it refers to relatively the same thing in this context, however there are ways that students may disconnect with the materials and classroom in ways that are not quite the same as dissociation. For example, younger children who have different coping mechanisms (and/or haven't been beaten down by the expected norms of society), may dissociate, but they may also "act out", speaking over the teacher, or otherwise being "uncooperative" or "unruly" because something happened that made them remember something scary they're trying to forget.
Defensiveness
Defensiveness, in the very most basic sense, is when someone tries to, well, defend themselves. But from what? For one, we see "defensiveness" very often as people making excuses for what they said, or otherwise fending off "personal attacks" that can be emotional or intellectual. But I'm also referring to being in a state of trying to "defend" or "keep safe" one's mental well being which is not so often how we use the term. Trying to tease apart the two, the former type of "defensiveness" happens more often when someone hears something that they disagree with, basically when something in their world view is challenged. The latter can also happen when there's a trigger for trauma present and I think encompasses the experiences of dissociation and disconnection. However, they both stem from the same instinct - to protect oneself and one's world (physically, mentally, socially).
